My Husband Needs to Be Disciplined

A well-spanked wife writes: “My husband asked me to discipline him. I just don’t feel comfortable doing that.” What advice would you offer?

Editor’s Note: Replies may be directed to the author shown below or appended to this story as a comment.

You are welcome to contact the author Ann Betty.

Since we started dating in university my husband and I have always spiced up our love life with spankings among other erotic adventures. We do birthday, fantasy, role play and foreplay spankings.  They are mostly in private. However on my birthday, he will spank me at a party but only when we control the invitation list, and invitees are into this scene. We have attended spanking parties and other such kink events.

From time to time my husband has indicated he wants to add domestic discipline to our relationship. My concern is that it would adversely affect the equality balance in our marriage. The compromise we reached is that one of the regulars at spanking parties we attend is a rather strict lady who not only does the disciplinary spanking in her household but is also known for turning the bare bottoms of other women in our group red.

When he feels I need it and I consent my husband calls Mrs L. and sets up an appointment for me.  When I return home my behind is sore for days. Her spankings are always over the knees, skirt or dress up, panties down punishments with a wooden backed hairbrush. They hurt like the dickens. It keeps me in line without giving my husband undo control over me. I like being held accountable but not being micromanaged.

Now, my husband asked me to discipline him. I just don’t feel comfortable doing that. It doesn’t feel natural to me.  There is no point in contacting Mr L. because my husband will not get spanked by a man.  And, I wouldn’t want him to agree to that either. Mrs L. only spanks her husband, and other wives in our group. Not men.

We don’t know anyone else we can trust only to spank him, nothing more. No sex is to be involved. Just keep him in line.

Anyone who wants to write to me in confidence is free to do so. Confidentiality is expected and assured. Kindly mind that we are a faithful married couple, parents and obey all laws.

Thank you for reading this.

Ann Betty

You are welcome to contact the author Ann Betty.

How To Give A Spanking
  • It’s been five years, so I guess the matter was resolved. My own two cents worth: You should try it yourself, first. Read some of the stories here and that should help you. If not, find a professional.

  • I have a female disciplinarian who keeps me in line. I often get spanked soundly and thoroughly for my bad behavior. I absolutely deserve what I get. And, I’m forced to keep a diary of my punishments – strict discipline or we will never learn. I know that a hairbrush on my bottom stings like nothing else but I need this program of strict accountability and I suspect your husband does too.

    A very naughty boy

  • Hello, My wife has begun to spank me. She uses an ebony hairbrush on my bare bottom over her knee. This arrangement gives her full control over our marriage and it is the best thing to happen. You should definitely try it with your husband.

  • I agree with Jane above. You should send your husband to a professional disciplinarian (not a mistress) and make him pay her to administer his punishment. I think it would be a good idea if you make contact with her initially to explain your situation. If you send him to her with a note outlining his offenses, it will help her to assess an appropriately severe punishment. I would suggest that you let her decide the severity of his beating but that you advise her to err on the side of harshness rather than leniency. You husband has clearly delegated the responsibility for your spankings to other people so it is only right that you do likewise. I think he deserves a really good thrashing and you should do everything in you power to see that he gets it.

  • I spank William. He either goes over my knees or over a chair. He removes his clothing and I begin with a hairbrush. I love the changing color of his cheeks especially as they clench and unclench. When I’m finished he gets corner time.

  • Dear Ann Betty, I am a husband who needs to be disciplined. My wife used to punish me when she was my girlfriend, but she stopped because, like you, she was uncomfortable with it. I regret that, but it can’t be helped. Now I can’t and won’t argue with your feelings of discomfort. But I would like to explain that if you were to spank him for bad behaviour that would not destroy your equal relationship. It would change it, of course. If you decided to punish him, your word would be final, and he would be punished as you see fit. A spanking should hurt, but it need not be extremely painful to be effective. The combination of your disappointment, your anger, a stinging bottom and the humiliation of going over his wife’s knee for a spanking will probably work very well for his education. If you could find a way to do it yourself, I think this would be much better than hiring a disciplinarian. Like you, he wants to be held accountable. Good luck, Arlo

  • Ann,

    You indicated that you attend spanking events. Are you not able to find a woman you and your husband trust from that group?

  • Hello Ann Betty!
    I have read many articles where other women feel the same way as you. And truthfully if you’re not a naturally dominant woman, then the spanking most likely wouldn’t go very well or likely wouldn’t provide the true experience your husband might be seeking.
    Have you ever looked anywhere near your location to set up a professional disciplinarian for your husband?


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