Susan was shaken with feelings she could not discuss when she first saw her seventh grade classmate paddled. She set out to experience the paddle both giving and receiving; now many years out of college she still desires those experiences and has a question at the end. Perhaps you can answer it.

You are welcome to contact the author Susan Paddleman.

My name is Susan Paddleman and I would like to tell you about my heart’s desire. It is not about my career, but something much more personal and intimate to my soul.

My quest began when I was in junior high school during the seventies in a place where the ‘board of education’ was still used. I witnessed several of my classmates receive as many as ten swats, but never was paddled regardless of my behavior because of an unwritten rule that only boys could be spanked.

I remember, as if it was yesterday, the first time I saw a classmate get paddled. I don’t know why, but the boy next to me in my 7th grade English class was called up front and ordered to bend over the teacher’s desk. Then Mr. Adams took a paddle, two feet long, six inches wide and half an inch thick with six, one-inch holes and the words “THOU SHALL NOT” written on it.

Ten swats later Scott sat down next to me and inside all that I could think was “wow!”; the inner excitement was overwhelming, but I couldn’t tell a soul. These experiences continued over the next six years every time some boy got paddled. I began making friends with every boy that was spanked in order to understand how it felt both emotionally and physically. Some said it was a “rush”, others said it made them “tough”, and other said it was “fearful, painful, and fulfilling”. The more I learned the more fascinated I was with the experience.

In 10th grade I joined the FFA* because I learned that they hazed green hands with the teacher’s paddle. My excitement built as I waited for the induction party, only to be disappointed as only the boys got hazed. It was fun though – being the only girl I got to paddle the green hands first. That’s when I discovered the joy of giving; but my desire to be on the receiving end kept growing.

In my senior year my best friend got me a birthday paddle and everyone present got to spank my posterior and sign it. Their love pats provided a small amount of satisfaction, but not much – my posterior was hardly pink – I still wanted the real thing. So, I searched for a college sorority that still hazed with a paddle and not just for one traditional night, but all year long.

An Ivy League school in New England is where I found my heart’s desire. This sorority’s rule was that any member could haze any underclassman to them for any sorority infraction at any time (as long as you were in our sorority building). Once a month the sorority would hold an open party where the big entertainment was the “Toughest Butt Contest”; the winner could paddle upperclassman in the sorority the coming month. A reward of revenge was a great motivator. The contest was done in G-strings for entertainment purposes. It was a great fund-raiser, and open to the whole campus for both genders. I won several times and enjoyed my month of revenge. Now, since I have long graduated (class of 1980), I no longer have the means to fulfill my desire to give or receive. Can you help?

*The National FFA Organization, an American youth organization based on middle and high school classes. Originally Future Farmers of America founded in 1928.

You are welcome to contact the author Susan Paddleman.