Elements Of Marital Success: Spanking And Male Chastity
A while ago you asked me to write what I got out of the relationship that Terry and I have. It isnít an easy question to answer but I will try. To do so I will have to explain that physical punishment isnít the only way I am able to manage Terryís actions, so if you want to edit those parts out please feel free to do so.
Let me first explain that Terry is one of the brightest people I know, he can see solutions to problems before most even recognize that a problem exists. He will solve a problem for his company and clients before they know that it is about to happen. Having an IQ that is beyond 150 probably helps in that area but also hampers him with an ego and sense of being right that can be as damaging as it is helpful. He can have a very short fuse when people do not immediately accept his positions on things. Needless to say this can have e very detrimental effect on interpersonal relationships. I mention this because I have we have talked about it extensively in the past, with significant input from his mother when she was alive, and he is smart enough to know that some external control is in his best interest.
But that is about Terry, now about me. I think I am of average intelligence and looks but do try to take care of myself. I absolutely worship Terry and was always intimidated by his intelligence; he is just so smart it is scary. His mother explained to me that his problem solving capabilities and ability to see problems that hadnít yet surfaced would do him well in business but his inability to deal with people could undo all of his assets. She told me when we dated that he needed what she called my ďdown to earth common senseĒ as much as his native intelligence if he was going to reach his potential.
These two different individual traits are why we live as we do and why we will continue to live as we do. Terry gets to do things he feels right with little constraint until a line is crossed and then corrective action is taken. I take great satisfaction in monitoring what he does and correcting it when that line has been crossed. I donít feel inferior in what I contribute to our relationship because I really believe that I have been a significant part in his success and an equal partner in what WE have achieved together. Terry feels the same when he is not in trouble and being punished for crossing that line.
I think your readers should also know, although we have a lot of money by some peoples standards, I defer to Terry on all spending decisions. I do not spend any significant amount of money, over $100, without asking him first. I am given an allowance and must stay within it for my personnel needs. If I have broken any of my rules, I either have my allowance lowered for a period of time, or once had all my clothes locked away and was given $100 to go to goodwill with and buy the clothes I was to wear for a month. I never spent a lot over my budget again after that month.
I will confess that when Terry is over my knee and I am giving him a well deserved blistering I feel like an equal partner in our marriage like at no other time. And I will admit that the harder I spank and the more he wiggles, cries and begs me to stop the more equal I feel. I like spanking him until he is sometimes raw and will have a hard time sitting for a few days. You already know what happens if there is a really serious infraction, using his work bench so he canít get away, and making sure he wonít want to sit for a long while. I also have no qualms about corner time and soap or whatever would be appropriate for a fully grown man who has acted like a 10 year old to others.
On occasion, and actually many more that one, I have decided that Terry must stay in the corner so others can see how a particular problem was taken care of. This is particularly effective when the person he has crossed the line with has been hurt and I think has a right to know that the issue has been adequately addressed. His mother witnessed him there many times, my sisters have all seen it on occasion and a few of our friends are aware of how we address issues in our house. Sometimes his ego needs a dressing down beyond what a good spanking will achieve.
You should also be aware that six to eight spankings a year are about all he needs these days and usually only one of them will be of the severe kind.
Your readers might also be interested in the follow up to the spanking I gave him before we were married for walking into a room full of our friends stark naked because he thought it would liven things up. Almost 3 months later we were having a party with the same people and I reminded Terry to watch what he drinks and does, he promised me he wouldnít do anything like that ever again. To make sure, later in the evening, I took him to the bedroom and made him strip and hang a little bell from his man parts and rejoin the party as a reminder of how he made everyone else feel. He didnít want to at first but after suggesting we could use the bench again immediately he complied with my wishes. No, I didnít spank him again for that. He has kept his promise and never has done that again.
One valuable lesson I got from his mother was to never let up on a spanking or punishment; they are supposed to be something to be remembered for a long time. I have done my best to take that advice.
Now I have to relate another incident and how that was solved which has saved me a great deal of time and Terry significant bottom pain.
After we had been married about 10 years the love making has diminished considerably. I donít think am a nymph or anything but being sexual with Terry, on a regular basis, is something I look forward to, and I think two to three times a week is regular. I talked with his mother about his lack of interest and she suggested that men can more easily take care of themselves than a woman can and I needed to find out if he was masturbating regularly. I asked him and he denied it but I could tell he was feeling guilty so I sort of made it a habit of getting into the shower with him, without warning, and caught him several times. I also caught him sitting on the toilette doing it one afternoon. Every time I caught him I did give him a good spanking and a lecture on how that shouldnít be wasted like that. Things seemed to get better for a while but than slacked off again and I came right out and asked him.
He confessed he had been because he had a lot of work backing up on him and he needed it and it was quick. He said he didnít want to but could not help it. I am glad his mother was still around because I was angry and hurt, spanking hadnít worked, and I didnít know what to do. That was almost 25 years ago and his Mom had the perfect solution. I had never heard of them but they make devices you can lock a male in that prevents their being able to get any sexual satisfaction or relief at all -- a male chastity device.
Anyway, with his motherís help I found one and he has had it, or a replacement, on ever since when he is not with me. I can tell you I get all the attention I want and could not be happier. I seldom use it for punishment and they have newer ones that are apparently quite comfortable to wear 24/7 at all times so he doesnít have to miss out on anything except of course that one little thing he canít do unless I unlock him.
I know this isnít a subject centered on spanking but it does have a relevance for Terry and me. It is a very comforting feeling for me to know he canít get any relief without me and that makes him need me even more, and that I love. And from Terryís standpoint he has said he feels like a teenager still when we are together and he really likes that. He also doesnít usually allow work to become so overwhelming he doesnít have time for anything else.
I donít know it that is what you had asked for, or simply off the subject. But I wanted to provide an honest description of what our arrangement has done for me and that we are a couple. We both have our assets and liabilities but this has worked for us. Iím sorry I didnít get to it sooner.
If you are interested, Terry has been spending a little too much time at work the past month and we will be having a workbench discussion about that pretty soon, he is already quite nervous. Maybe tomorrow morning we will sleep in and do some other things more enjoyable for both of us. I think I will let him. J
But, business first.
Editor's Note: The spanking references to Work Bench are described in How It All Began.
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